Wild West: Not known for their wine ...Yet!
The Tanque Verde Ranch in Tuscon, Arizona, has become my home away from home. It is where I overcame my fear of horses and discovered a love for the desert. I've visited the ranch on and off over the last twenty some odd years, and in all the times I've gone, only twice did I leave the premises: once, in search of a Levi-wearin’, gun-slingin’ hottie, and again, to go shopping at the local Boot Barn. Doesn't that speak volumes about me?
What initially prompted me to head west was my hope to find the Marlboro Man. No such luck. (Little did I know he was actually from New Jersey!) The cowboys that I did encounter were... well, let's just say that the Ford Modeling Agency won't be sending scouts out there anytime soon. Still, what they lacked in glamour, they made up for in character. Seriously - their mamas would have been proud to know that, as far as their sons were concerned, old fashioned chivalry was alive and kickin’!
I confided in one of the wranglers at the ranch about my plight (a.k.a. mission). He took pity on me (or was maybe making fun of me - it's sorta hard to tell with them), and brought me to his
favorite watering hole, The Maverick, where all the local buckaroos went to unwind. (This place is still up and running, waiting for folks to show up and two-step the night away. Two-stepping at The Maverick is an absolute must if you should happen to go west. Don’t ask – just do it). So did I lasso my own special cowboy at this legendary stop? Nah, but boy did I have a good ol’ time looking... hootin’ and a-hollerin’ while I lined danced, crushing my partner’s toes as he tried to teach me how to master the moves... ah, good times.
Now for some shocking news: they serve beef at the ranch! Remember that commercial? “BEEF: It's what for dinner!” Well, apparently at the ranch, this wasn’t an advertisement, it was a commandment. Sooooo, every night, anyone can enjoy various cuts of prime cooked in a variety of wonderful ways. (They do serve fish, but that would be like ordering steak at the shore. In
other words, DON’T order the fish.) Since I’m a happy carnivore, this was not an issue for me. The only problem I did encounter was the wine list. Or lack of it. NO BYOB, NO CORKAGE, NO RECOGNIZABLE WINES ON THE LIST! What’s an east coast city slicker to do? Answer: Just go for it. So I ordered a grape varietal (Cabernet sauvignon) that went well with beef. The fact that the wine had a cute cowboy on the label was purely coincidental. No, really ; ) To my surprise, it was drinkable! On my "Relationship and Wine" consulting service, it would have scored somewhere between a "4" and a "5.” The moral of the story? Like a real-deal cowboy would say, “Always make hay while the sun shines.”
What initially prompted me to head west was my hope to find the Marlboro Man. No such luck. (Little did I know he was actually from New Jersey!) The cowboys that I did encounter were... well, let's just say that the Ford Modeling Agency won't be sending scouts out there anytime soon. Still, what they lacked in glamour, they made up for in character. Seriously - their mamas would have been proud to know that, as far as their sons were concerned, old fashioned chivalry was alive and kickin’!I confided in one of the wranglers at the ranch about my plight (a.k.a. mission). He took pity on me (or was maybe making fun of me - it's sorta hard to tell with them), and brought me to his
favorite watering hole, The Maverick, where all the local buckaroos went to unwind. (This place is still up and running, waiting for folks to show up and two-step the night away. Two-stepping at The Maverick is an absolute must if you should happen to go west. Don’t ask – just do it). So did I lasso my own special cowboy at this legendary stop? Nah, but boy did I have a good ol’ time looking... hootin’ and a-hollerin’ while I lined danced, crushing my partner’s toes as he tried to teach me how to master the moves... ah, good times.Now for some shocking news: they serve beef at the ranch! Remember that commercial? “BEEF: It's what for dinner!” Well, apparently at the ranch, this wasn’t an advertisement, it was a commandment. Sooooo, every night, anyone can enjoy various cuts of prime cooked in a variety of wonderful ways. (They do serve fish, but that would be like ordering steak at the shore. In
other words, DON’T order the fish.) Since I’m a happy carnivore, this was not an issue for me. The only problem I did encounter was the wine list. Or lack of it. NO BYOB, NO CORKAGE, NO RECOGNIZABLE WINES ON THE LIST! What’s an east coast city slicker to do? Answer: Just go for it. So I ordered a grape varietal (Cabernet sauvignon) that went well with beef. The fact that the wine had a cute cowboy on the label was purely coincidental. No, really ; ) To my surprise, it was drinkable! On my "Relationship and Wine" consulting service, it would have scored somewhere between a "4" and a "5.” The moral of the story? Like a real-deal cowboy would say, “Always make hay while the sun shines.”Translation of my score of a "4" and a "5":
4- A date with a 4 would not change your life. As for a second date - okay, sure, why not? But be honest: this person is not likely to rate a mention in your little black book. A 4 wine you'd be okay with - not thrilled, mind you, but okay - with trying a second time.
4: worth a second date = you'd try the wine again another time
5- You're bored, yet restless. The phone rings. At the sound of the voice you remain calm. Still, convenience certainly counts for something. A 5 wine is one you've perhaps had before, but more to the point, happens to be the only wine that is being served and so you drink it.
5: If nothing else is going on I guess = decent wine is better than none
P.S.: This horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Hey, what's with the long face?"
4: worth a second date = you'd try the wine again another time
5- You're bored, yet restless. The phone rings. At the sound of the voice you remain calm. Still, convenience certainly counts for something. A 5 wine is one you've perhaps had before, but more to the point, happens to be the only wine that is being served and so you drink it.
5: If nothing else is going on I guess = decent wine is better than none
P.S.: This horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Hey, what's with the long face?"
1 comments:
you've actually come around to our California wines, or have you always been around?
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