Relationships and Wine

If you’ve ever tasted wine either by accident or on purpose, then I’m sure you’ve had some thoughts about the beverage you’ve just consumed - thoughts that ranged from, “yuk!” to “wow!” But, what if you were asked to explain exactly what it is that you like about the wine…that’s where it can get tricky. So I devised a service that makes it easier to talk about your wine “affairs.”

Hopefully, my consulting service below will help guide you through your wine-ing experiences with enjoyment and ease.

Relationships & Wine™

Wines can be described in much the same terms as people: they can be fascinating, entrancing, overbearing and occasionally awful. To help you score your wine encounters, I’ve created a scale from 1 to 11. Here’s to a lifetime of Six or Better!

1- An encounter with a 1 would, if possible, be extremely brief. A 1 would inspire you to turn your back and flee, without hesitation. In a wine your reaction is equally direct: you'd spit it out.

1: run away! = spit it out!

2- Imagine a person who approaches you at a function and, while you're not completely repulsed, you move on as quickly as good manners allow. In a wine, a 2 means at first taste your reaction is to push the glass away and move to greener pastures. The only reason to know this wine's name is to avoid future encounters.

2: brief conversation = taste it once, push glass away

3- You would finish a date with a 3. And be content in the knowledge that you never have to see them again. In this wine, you would finish the glass but decline a second. Life is too short!

3: finish the date = one glass is plenty

4- A date with a 4 would not change your life. As for a second date - okay, sure, why not? But be honest: this person is not likely to rate a mention in your little black book. A 4 wine you'd be okay with - not thrilled, mind you, but okay - with trying a second time.

4: worth a second date = you'd try the wine again another time

5- You're bored, yet restless. The phone rings. At the sound of the voice you remain calm. Still, convenience certainly counts for something. A 5 wine is one you've perhaps had before, but more to the point, happens to be the only wine that is being served and so you drink it.

5: If nothing else is going on I guess = decent wine is better than none

6- This is a person of quality. Funny maybe... good conversationalist... has a little Yin to go with your Yang. You're dating, a bit, but not exclusively.

6: dating = this is an interesting wine to have every now and then, especially when the mood strikes

7- Sometimes “just friends” is a good thing! There’s a lot to be said for great company that’s free of quirks, drama or silly complications. A 7 wine has the same appeal: it’s a wonderful companion, always dependable, and certainly easy to live with.

7: friends = easy to drink

8- You imagine introducing this person to your family to cheers, not snickers. This is someone whose company you enjoy so much you want to share it. It’s the stuff of long-term commitment. This is a wine that’s made a real impression; an 8 stands far above the crowd, and you look forward to enjoying it again and again.

8: long term commitment = a very fine wine

9- People don’t swoon much anymore, but here you are: proposing on the first date. You can’t help yourself! A 9 wine makes you pause, take a look around, and seriously ask everyone to quiet down and allow you to savor the moment.

9: engagement = wine that made you take a pause

10- You are asked the fateful question. The answer is, without reservation, “I do!” This is a wine that’s beyond unforgettable, and changes the way you think about wine. In short, it’s "The Wine": the one that literally takes you into the wine world (everyone in the wine world has one) and makes wine an important part of your life that you never look back.

10: marriage = your launch wine

11- This person is your inspiration, your co-conspirator in making every day feel like a heist from the Bank of The Good Life. The relationship has stood the test; you would renew your vows in a heartbeat. Here we have a wine that rises far above mundane descriptions like “value.” This is the wine you would pay almost anything for, travel wherever necessary to find, do whatever it takes to experience again.

11: renew vows = you'd do almost anything to have it again