The French Version of Juicing, part one

With my Number One Son practicing kung fu in China, Miss America spending time with her BF, and my Viva la France wine event completely ruined by Irene, I thought to myself, “Self, why not just hop a plane to France?”







So I packed a bag for my younger son Zazi (who is homeschooled - talk about a field trip!) and me, and off we went to rendezvous with my good friend Murph in “Gay Paree"

Paris was only one leg of this ten day excursion. The other was Burgundy, also known as The Golden Slopes (or, Côte d'Or pronounced coat door)

We flew Air France Business Class, which was such a treat. There was a time in my life when I couldn’t understand why anyone would pay that much money for a plane ticket - after all, we would all be arriving at the same time regardless of where we sat, right? I mean, really: how much better could it be?







The difference between flying Coach and Business is the same as driving a Pinto versus a Mercedes. (And, I hear that flying First Class is the airline industry’s version of driving a Maybach!)

While in transit, I interviewed one of the flight attendants to get the inside scoop. He said that for starters, the seats in First Class are larger and have better cushions. They also fully recline into a bed (hello!), the food and wine are of higher quality, and you can request your meal whenever you want as opposed to Business, where the only food options are a gourmet meal OR an express meal consisting of appetizer, cheese and dessert. Oh, and the TV screen is slightly larger.

Perhaps in a future blog I’ll be able to give you an actual account of a First Class experience. But for now I can share with you the varied pleasures of Business, and how my son and I giggled like yokels as we played with the buttons on our seats, pretended that our light was a microphone, and mistook our foot rest for the luggage compartment.



The food was more than just edible: it was downright tasty! Here’s a sampling of the choices: pan seared veal, scallops sautéed in olive oil and oven-roasted guinea hen. (Obviously, Daniel Boulud's staff is not cooking for Air France…)

On the other hand, the wines were…drinkable. I felt the same way about them as I would about someone who is not topping the list of fun folks to hang out with: you know, if nothing else was going on and they called...you get the idea. My inflight wine was the 2007 Chateau de Villambis Haut-Medoc .



Here's a bit of trivia for you: every year, Air France serves its passengers flying in La Première and Business Class 870,000 bottles of wine and over one million bottles of champagne. Air France is also the only airline to offer all its passengers free champagne on board its international, long-haul flights, even in the Voyageur* cabin. (*That’s Coach, by the way – everything sounds better in French, doesn’t it?)




There is also a station set up during each flight serving soda, wine, twelve year old scotch, cookies, fruit, and chocolate should you have a craving for something sweet in between watching movies on demand.


Yes, life can be pretty darn fine at 30,000 feet…

Side note: here are some travel tips I’ve learned from flight attendants over the years…first, drink plenty, and I mean plenty, of water, as the only thing drier than the air inside a plane is the Sahara. Pack a few more hydrating items for good measure: lip balm, hand and face creams, eye lubricants and even nasal spray. Now if you want to wake up refreshed by catching forty winks before landing, pop a couple of NyQuil capsules one hour after take-off. (After your doctor gives you the green light give those over-the-counter sleeping pills a pass, as they can make you dopey.)

And don’t forget to tuck away a nifty little eye mask, too. They’re so soothing, and I always get the best sleep when I use one. To keep the dreaded “puffy eyes” at bay, use Preparation H under your eyes a half an hour before landing. (A little dab’ll do ya.) Finally, change into something comfy like sweats as soon as the captain takes off the “Fasten Your Seat Belt” sign. Forty minutes before landing, wash up and change back into your good stuff – trust me, you'll feel so much better. (Do you have any travel tips to share? Send me your best advice, and I’ll send you a signature Have Fun Wine-ing with Grae eye mask!)

Our landing was right on schedule, but alas, our hotel rooms were not. Even worse, Murph's room wasn’t available until the following day, as the woman who had it prior became ill and couldn’t leave. The hotel did, however, put him up in one of their sister establishments.

The rooms at the Waldorf (obviously, our NY Waldorf didn’t trademark) were more like large linen closets, but since it was for just the one night, we braved it out.
The neighborhood was perfectly located for shopping, but the bistro we dined at that night was merely satisfactory... I know, I know, not the greatest choice of words, but fitting nonetheless. That's why I’m not bothering to share the name of the bistro with you. Unfortunately, it was NOT worth remembering. Besides, this was just a pit stop, as the next morning we were up, out and on our way to Beaune....

Au revoir, Paris!

PS: Stay tuned for The Golden Slopes!